I think one of my favorite things about God is that He is all knowing. There is something about having my Best Friend and Beloved One know everything about past, present and future that thrills me to lean in closer to His heartbeat and listen. He is all knowing. He sees the big picture that I can never fully grasp. I love that. I am constantly asking Jesus to show me His works here on earth. I love seeing His all knowing Spirit lead me and our little family. I love seeing His Hand upon my friends’ lives. I love having an all-knowing Best Friend.
But I realized today, that because I know He’s all knowing, I can be easily be persuaded to seek His knowledge and not His Face. Not that the Knowledge of God is a bad thing… It’s obviously not. But when we seek our God out or His Word like He’s a Magic 8 Ball, then we have a problem… a big one!
I received some more lack of news today… What I thought would be a day of answers turned into the exact same thing I’ve been hearing. Wait. Wait. And wait some more. So as I sought the Lord out on it tonight, I wrote this down:
“I think the hardest part of all this is not knowing exactly what I’m waiting for. What am I waiting for God?”
As I did this, I went to my Bible immediately to find answers. But, if you can believe it, I felt a check in my spirit. Something about my heart posture and motives at that moment was not pleasing to the Holy Spirit and I couldn’t bring myself to open the Bible. That is when I felt the firm, rebuking and loving voice of my perfect Father.
“My Word is not a Magic 8 Ball.”
That’s it. One weighty, painful truth to encounter.
The Word of God is indeed the wisest place to seek counsel, guidance. But, just like in everything, God is concerned with the motive, the heart behind the action. At that moment, I was attempting to use the Word of God to fulfill my flesh. I wanted answers because I feel completely out of control in almost every area in my life. And I knew His Word was the right place to find counsel. But, I didn’t want counsel to magnify Jesus. I wanted counsel to magnify self.
Yep. Who knew the correct action could hide such nasty motives.
At the end of the day, He reminded me that I’m not waiting for an action or a physical blessing. I’m waiting for Him. And it’s true.
Psalm 92 reminded me of it. And that’s exactly where He led me when I prayerfully opened the Bible to seek His voice.
“For You, O LORD have made me glad by what You have done. I will sing for joy at the works of You hands… How great are Your works, O LORD! Your thoughts are very deep…” — Psalm 92:4-5a